SAFETY FIRST!

Playing with a partner in BDSM requires a little bit of understanding of ways of doing it efficiently and safely. Have a chat with them. You should find out if they have any pertinent personal health information so that you have the ability to respond appropriately. Even if you play together often, bodies respond differently. Check in and ask how they are feeling today and see if anything has shifted with their body or psyche. If you hurt someone due to thoughtlessness or ignorance, then you’re ultimately accountable for it. Stay calm and don’t hesitate to call 911.

Sexual Health History

If you’re covering toys and cleaning them properly, you’ll have little need for an exhaustive sexual health history from your partner. Nevertheless, if you are new to each other and wish to engage in more risky behaviors, you’ll want to discuss what each of you considers acceptable and discover a happy medium. Your main concerns may be about HIV and STIs like Herpes and Genital Warts, (HPV), currently on the rise and creating a greater risk of cervical cancer. Keep yourself abreast by checking out websites like www.sfsi.org or www.ashastd.org If you’re interested in expanding your safety education, you could explore First Aid Certification and/or CPR Certification training in your local area.

Emotional/Psychological Safety

Physical safety is a typical concern, yet it is all too often our emotional selves that can get hurt when becoming more intimate with another. Which is why both you and your partner want to be able to communicate clearly your wants and needs and discover consensus between the two. Don’t forget to reassure your partner that s/he is doing fine and likewise, have a little compassion for yourself and your partner. Take time to relax into your play and let yourself not be perfect.

Bondage Safety

Safety shears, seatbelt cutters (for rubber or plastic wrap)
Check for numbness/tingling
Stay in contact both emotionally and physically ~ you are responsible for their safety.
NEVER leave someone in bondage alone. EVER.

Toy Cleaning

Chlorine bleach diluted in water at a 1:9 ratio 70 percent isopropyl alcohol/Betadine solution (1/2 & 1/2)
Cover with a condom
Sterilization ~ Autoclaving/Dishwasher
No silicone-based lube with silicone toys
Medical grade cleaners: Matacide/Cavacide

Floggers And Whip Safety

Don’t break the skin! Leather cleaners and conditioners will not be able to guarantee cleanliness ~ don’t let fluids come in contact with them For using on pussy/cock/balls, one make of plastic, rubber or PVC that can be washed and cleaned effectively

Clamp Safety

Never leave the clamps on long enough for the nipple or skin to turn purple

Ass Safety

Make sure any toy to be inserted is smooth and rounded Slow down, breathe, relax ~ if it hurts, don’t do it. Lube, lube, lube! Use toys with wide flared bases

Safewords

Many folks enjoy pretending that they’re not consenting to whatever’s going on ~ saying “no”, “please” “stop” and so on, when they’re actually enjoying themselves tremendously. To be on the safe side, agree ahead of time on a code word, or “safeword” that either of you can use to stop the activity if you really need to. Safewords are usually chosen from words not likely to otherwise come up. “Yellow” is often used to mean “Let’s ease up or slow down.” “Red” is often used to signal, “Stop what’s going on. I really mean it!.” Failure to honor a safeword is an extremely serious ethical and legal offense. Never joke or kid around with safewords. “Mercy” is the standard word for all slaves to all Mistresses when in distress. “Pity” is what he can say when he wants you to slow down or lighten up so he can catch his breath. Pity means “This is going good, just take your time”, or “It’s going too fast for me to absorb, so slow down”, or just “Slow down, I need to think about this”. But any words will do: cupcake, houseplant, whatever you like that outside the realm of typical verbiage. If and when your partner says that safe word, you must stop what you are doing immediately. Even if you are right in the middle of a stroke, pull back and stop it. That word means he has reached his limit. If you do not stop now, all the trust and new sexual intimacy you have built up may be damaged or destroyed. Take the time to discuss what the problem was or what went wrong so it doesn’t happen again. Perhaps you can work it through together. Communication is crucial before, during, and after playtime, as the scenarios should be playful and loving for both of you. Failure to honor a safeword is an extremely serious matter ~ in some cases, it can even be a crime. Never joke or kid around with safewords.

WHAT TO DO WHEN A TOY GETS “LOST”

Occasionally, a toy, condom or other item will drift up out of reach inside the vagina or the anus. This is rarely a medical emergency, but it’s usually uncomfortable and can be dangerous if the toy stays in there long enough to block normal functioning or to build up a bacterial overload. Toys lost in the vagina are less of an emergency. The vagina is a closed system (except during childbirth): the toy has no place to go. The rectum, on the other hand, is not a closed system and objects without a wide flange at their base can sometimes go in so far that they cannot be grasped with fingers. If this does happen, keep in mind that the item will almost undoubtedly pass back out naturally and on its own before long. The natural peristaltic action of the bowel will prevent the item from working its way farther up. There’s no need to mount a dramatic rescue operation. Above all, don’t do anything that hurts. The item should appear no later than the next bowel movement. Assuming a squatting position, as opposed to the usual sitting position, may help pass the object. Caution: Mild to moderate bearing down is probably OK. Hard straining could damage the rectal passage and, particularly if the individual has a heart condition, could possibly slow the heartbeat or even precipitate a cardiac arrest. You might be able to reach the item with a fingertip. If so, you may be able to ease it down until you can grasp it and (gently, slowly) extract it. One major caution: be careful not to push the item farther in. Sitting or standing in an upright position, or walking around for a while, may help the item work its way back down to where you can reach it. Inserting an ounce or 2 of additional lubricant into the rectum may also help. At this point, a more liquid lubricant (such as mineral oil) is probably better. Careful use of an enema bulb or turkey baster can help ensure that the lubricant goes into the rectum. He should lie on his left side as the lubricant is inserted and for several minutes therefter, then sit, stand, or walk.

A couple of don’ts: No enemas, please. Large volumes of water are not what the intestine needs just now. Among other things, the water may push the object further in, where it can really get stuck. No stimulant or irritant-type laxatives such as senna, bisacodyl, or castor oil.

Two options: Simply waiting is often a very rational strategy. There is a good chance that the item will pass out naturally. If it isn’t passed with the next bowel movement, the odds of having to seek medical aid greatly increase. Eating a meal can trigger the gastrocolic reflex and thus cause a bowel movement approximately 30-60 mins afterwards.

Warning Signs: The person has a prior history of rectal, anal, or other bowel problems (You did check this before you started stuffing things up there, didn’t you?) The person develops cramping, abdominal pain, other bothersome abdominal pain, fever, or blood starts coming from their rectum. If any of these appear, it’s time to see a physician immediately. The object hasn’t passed on its own after 24 hours. Again, its now time to see a doc.

WHAT TO DO ABOUT A LATEX ALLERGY

Latex allergies are becoming increasingly common – more and more hospitals have switched to non-latex products to protect their patients and staff. The nasty thing about this allergy is that it can appear quite suddenly, and dangerously, in someone who’s never before had any trouble with latex. Fortunately, there are good alternatives to latex for all your safer-sex needs. Polyurethane condoms are now available in both male and female versions, and have the added benefit of being impervious to oil-based lubricants. Gloves are available in nitrile and vinyl. While dental dams are always, as far as I know, make of latex, plastic wrap offers an inexpensive and effective alternative. So don’t give up on safer sex – just switch products. There are 2 types of latex allergy: contact dermatitis of the skin and systemic anaphylactic reaction. A skin rash or itchiness after exposure to latex is usually nothing to worry about for now. Wash the affected area thoroughly to remove any traces of the latex, and use a standard over-the-counter anti-itch cream until the rash fades. However, it appears that such dermatitis can be an early sign of a more serious latex allergy on the way, so you should probably switch to non-latex products from now on, and talk to your doctor about a prescription for an Epi-Pen. If you or your partner begins to have trouble breathing after exposure to latex, this is an emergency! This allergy can lead to swelling in the mouth and throat that renders the sufferer unable to breathe at all (the reaction is the same type you’ve read about in the cases where someone dies after being stung by a bee). If the breathing doesn’t get noticeably easier almost right away, call 911 for an ambulance. Meanwhile, your first line of defense, if you have one, is the aforementioned Epi-Pen – a portable, easy-to-use, disposable syringe that delivers a jolt of a drug called epinephrine, which will reduce the allergic reaction until you can get to the hospital for further treatment.

HEART ATTACK

No section on emergencies would be complete without a mention of the fact that men, particularly older men, often have heart attacks during sex. If you are the partner of a man over the age of 45 or so, it would be a very, very good idea for you to take a basic CPR class, and to maintain those skills – regardless of your sex life,. The chances that you would be the person with him were he to have a heart attack are very good indeed, and you could be the person to save his life under those circumstances. If you are having sex with anybody, and they complain of pain, fullness or uncomfortable pressure in their chest, shortness of breath, pain radiating down either arm or up into their jaw, or chest discomfort accompanied by nausea, sweating, pale skin, fainting or lightheadedness, and the symptoms persist for more than 10 mins even with rest, stop doing whatever it is you’re doing. Then call 911 – do not attempt to drive them to the hospital yourself.