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Zippity Doo Dah: Erotic E-Stim Basics by Eve Minax

June 6, 2014 By Admin Bondassage

Electric Play is a highly debated topic, primarily regarding the potential risks involved. However, for the curious and knowledgeable, Electro Play can be an intensely rewarding and special addition to one’s repertoire. I personally play with electricity about once a week and primarily use the ET312 since I can program special patterns and vary the depth and intensities much more than with any other device. Below, you will find a brief overview of electro play and some of the various types of devices used. I suggest starting slowly and always get advice from experienced players, and as standard disclaimers go: Play risk aware and have fun!

SM Basic Safety

– Know your bottom as best you can. Be sure to ask if s/he has health issues especially regarding heart trouble. Heart health is particularly important with electrical play. Neither Top nor bottom should have a pacemaker, as stray electrical current has the potential to disrupt it.

– Basic first aid information is helpful for any dungeon accidents that might occur. Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation (CPR) skills are especially important for electrical play. The American Red Cross holds “Community First Aid & Safety” training which includes CPR.

Electricity Basics

* Electricity likes to go between body surfaces from point A to point B.

* Electricity comes in several flavors, some are safe and some are dangerous

*The term TENS (Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation) unit can be

misleading; these devices can either be very safe or unsafe

* You should educate yourself on what comes out of an electrical device

(eg. AC, DC, audio or RF frequencies, voltage levels, current levels/limiting)

Safer Devices

*Audio oscillators, 10 to 1000 Hz audio frequencies, 0-20 volts, current limited

*Violet Wands are mini-Telsa coils, produce RF frequencies at high volts (up to

50,000 volts or higher which pass over surface of skin with negligible current)

Unsafe Devices

* Muscle Jerkers that produce brief pulses of relatively high voltage (50 to 200

volts), very unsafe for use above the waist, can stop the heart

* Magnetos, kick out killer high voltages (up to 200 volts) at very high current

* Cattle prods, & electric fence devices, kick out up to 2,000 volts at high current

* Train transformers, fairly low volts but unlimited current

Unless you know your device and it’s output, you never want to send a current where it can pass across the heart. That can interfere with the heart’s natural pulse and stop it. Novice shorthand: “No contact above the waist.” This is highly debatable topic, however, as many players feel it is fine to use electrical stimulation above the waist (nipples especially) if the device is an audio oscillator which emits fairly high frequency and very low voltage pulses – unlike muscle jerking machines or magnetos or cattle prods (see prior and below) which emit high voltages with large currents. Folsom makes clips (see below) that alternate the current – I use them often with no worries. Further, one must ALWAYS be careful and avoid above the waist if your bottom has heart trouble or has had surgery. If they do not know, you may wish to stay below the waist.

Some Devices

Violet Wands (technically, “radio frequency Tesla coils”). There is a big intensity difference in “regular” violet wands sold new through beauty supply stores and used through flea markets versus the units that were made by Erotec (which stopped producing them circa 2001). Each have their place. Do your homework. Here is a great set by Doctor Clockwork, or if you just want to get started gently and less expensively the Neon Wand is quite nice.

Medical TENS (transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation) units are different from the power box devices discussed below, though one could use many other attachments. See TENS page.
Pulse signal generator(PSG) / electro-muscle stimulation (EMS) power boxes.

Eros Tek (formally called the ET312, now called Super Power Box, is my personal favorite) makes remote and audio controlled units, including units with programs. The units with programs are amazing, yet also remove some of the direct knowledge of what the unit is doing — though a good top knows to check it out ahead of time. You can also create programs, attach microphones, and program music.

Folsom makes the PSG-202 and PSG-MAX. I prefer the MAX Unit

Paradise Electro Stimulations makes the P.E.S. Power Box which are popular.

I’ve heard good things about Mystim, although I have yet to test it out.

Attachment Considerations:

There are hundreds of attachments out there! Do your homework, consult a Pro 🙂

Many other possibilities include do it yourself stuff.

Single electrode attachments require another attachment to complete a circuit.

Dual electrode attachments do not require another attachment to complete a circuit.

Many attachments require (conductive) gels with electrolytes to conduct electricity adequately. Ask for “ultrasound gel” at your local medical supply store or online, and Ky jelly or water based lube works fine for shorter time frames. You can also use conductive pads to transmit the current directly between areas without an attachment.

Other items of note:

–Electronic dog collars: Fun vocal estim play. Train that puppy!

-Cattle prods – Use only shorter 2-3 cell units, more are too intense NEVER use a cattle prod above the waist. Stunners, zappers or tazers, which are high-voltage, high frequency items designed to temporarily immobilize a victim are NOT recommended.

I have used estim bands with a cock pump and lube, which must be similar!

Electro Play Resources

– An intricate and honest discussion of electrical play is available here.

–JUICE: Electricity for Pleasure & Pain by “Uncle Abdul” is pretty comprehensive.

Zippity Doo Dah…Zippity Day

Enjoy your new found E-stim Play!

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Domina, Presenter, and Kink Coach, Eve Minax delights in proliferating carnal knowledge. She acts as Lead Staff Instructor for the Cleo Dubois Academy of SM Arts since 2002 and has exercised her pedagogical skills at a variety of conferences around the United States. Minax is a certified Sex Educator (SFSI), Urban Tantrika, and Bondassage Practitioner. Among other distinctions she recently co-authored “Bondassage: Kinky Erotic Massage Tips For Lovers” with Jaeleen Bennis. Previously, she wrote a regular column and hosted a kinky video program on Carnal Nation. Minax works consistently with SeriousBondage.com and self produces her own videos. Other studies include an MA in Cultural Studies focusing on Sexuality, NLP, NVC, DBT and she speaks French fluently. Always exploring, Minax maintains a loving and extended leather family throughout the world. You may find more information on her websites: eveminax.com, mistressminax.com, and you can follow her on Twitter and on Facebook .

Familial Unfamiliar: Playing With Age, Playing With Taboo by Eve Minax

May 30, 2014 By Admin Bondassage

Although I am admittedly an unabashed pleasure monger and hedonist, how can I still be uncomfortable saying I like sexual activity with adult babies and littles? (Littles are adults who like to play younger, usually 4-16 years old but can be younger or older). Probably because we, as a society, cannot admit that these things can be sexy because they seem, (they aren’t), way too close to the “real” thing. Playing with age in an erotic fashion can be fun, sexy, and exciting because it’s so wrong. In a word, it can be a great way to play with taboo without feeling guilty about it. And just to be clear, I am speaking about consenting adults who wish to exchange power erotically in a “familial” way.

In addition to fun, age play can also lead to life changing experiences for those who have suffered childhood sexual abuse. Of course, tops playing with these very loaded areas need to be aware if the bottom is simply kinky, ie, in it for fun, or if they have long standing issues that need acknowledgement (or both!). If it’s the latter case, then they need to determine if the bottom is looking to heal their wounds or to aggravate them. Some people get stuck in their conditioning and find it hard to change – that’s where a strong dominant or top can help push the bottom; or back off, should they need to, (eg, declining a scene should they feel they would be continuing a cycle of abuse). Playing with age may facilitate healing of old wounds from childhood, but it is not the only course of action. Trauma needs understanding, nurturing, and professional care. BDSM and Kink can help facilitate that healing but is not a replacement for therapy.

Of course, these issues are never solved over night, nor are they simple. I suggest talking to your partner, ask a lot of clarifying questions, such as “what do you mean by that?” or “what does that look like to you?” and try to stay calm. If you find yourself ready to judge or react to judgement, take a breath and ask for a time out until you can find the space to discuss more objectively. If you feel you are ready to start doing some age play, start slowly, like talking about it in bed, maybe masturbating your partner while describing a possible scenario. Sometimes the best way to a really intense scene is to move slowly and don’t rush it. Let it build, there will always be surprises…

Finally, most Age Play depends on classic definitions of familial authority: Mommies, Daddies, Aunties, Uncles and more. But let’s face it, many “kids” these days are just too savvy to be obedient bottoms, and sometimes it’s the parents who need to be taught a lesson! I suggest trying a variety of inversions and perversions of typical family-play power dynamics in order to broaden your sense of what’s possible and fun. Consider techniques and strategies for dealing with bratty bottoms in age play scenarios, and more importantly, present a vision and strategy for letting the “little ones” call the shots and top from below. What happens when baby wants what it wants NOW … or junior stages a revolt… or Mommy has been bad? Down with the familiar; long live the new familial!

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BDSM And Kink ~ A 69 Second Sexplanation

May 20, 2014 By Admin Bondassage

I was recently asked to give a little insight to Alex Liu of Science of Sin.

If you haven’t seen Alex’s work, you will want to – it’s pretty amazing. He’s been creating super cute pithy educational videos that “sexplain” why “you’re so good at being bad!”. He also recently started working on a documentary project mapping out sexuality and desire by eradicating shame through exploration and education. His documentary crowdfunding campaign ends next week with $11K and counting. https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/a-sexplanation/x/6959093

Whew! that was a mouthful!

In a word, Alex invited me to assist his endeavor and I of course said yes. Did I mention he’s also a doll? Ok, gay, but a girl can dream no?

In any case, we shot about an hour or so of video, but Alex worked his magic and made this 69 second video on Kink through my words. I hope you find it as short and sweet as I do!

Slippery When Wet! by Eve Minax

May 16, 2014 By Admin Bondassage

Perhaps you’ve already learned a fair amount about various types of lube and their prospective uses. If not, I have a lovely little video on the topic that can be found here: Never Enough. Today I am going to tell you a lot more specifics about Silicone Lube, what it’s made of, its advantages and disadvantages, and finally, its various uses.

Silicone based lubricants are described as any personal lubricant that includes the ingredient dimethicone as a major component. Higher quality silicone lubricants may list it first or earlier in the list to indicate that it is the primary substance in the lube. Dimethicone is a synthetic substance related to plastic that has many of the qualities of its cousin plastic but in a liquid or gel format. It is a polymer which means it is like being composed of lots of little units like bricks. When you cross link a polymer, you are putting mortar on the bricks. The units bind together and form a solid, thus making it inert.

ADVANTAGES:

Silicone is totally inert, which is an element that does easily react with other chemicals which means it does not alter PH levels. Maintaining your body’s normal PH level helps to prevent infection naturally. Silicone does not absorb into the skin and blood stream. It stays on the surface.

Since these lubes contain no water, they never dry up, so they’ll stay slick for a long time.

Unlike oil, silicone lubricants are safe to use with latex condoms because they don’t break down the material.

Hypoallergenic, silicone is great for people with sensitive skin.

Silicone lube is highly concentrated, so you only need to use a tiny dab, depending on your use.

They can be used for full body massages, and they’ll leave your skin super soft.

Since they won’t break down in water, they can be used in the shower or bath (or even underwater – if you’re into that;)

Women experience all kinds of microscopic damage and trauma to vaginal tissues during sex. Those small tears and irritations can create openings for viruses that live in the bloodstream, such as HIV. A personal lubricant helps to reduce the friction and therefore the amount of damage. Silicone Lube is certainly no exception.

Silicone lubes do not contain glycerin, sweeteners or oils.

DISADVANTAGES:

You can’t use silicone-based lubricants with silicone rubber sex toys including Cyberskin, Futurotic, NeoSkin, or EuroSkin as they’ll break down the material.

http://www.goodvibes.com/display_category.jhtml?id=catalog70002_cat33827&kbid=214489

They are more expensive than water- or oil-based lubes, but since you use less, the price is pretty comparable.

They can leave a coating on your skin that some people don’t like.

Some people say most taste bad (I find they have little to no flavor at all).

One major issue with most people is that cleanup is not easy, like some people claim, and it’s difficult to get off your bedding and other fabrics.

One area that can be considered an advantage and a disadvantage, depending on your desire is that since silicone lubricants are much less likely to drastically change the PH level of the vaginal environment they do NOT interfere with contraception. Other types of lubes can change the ph level which can not only potentially lead to infections, but can also interfere with conception. Depending on your desire, you may wish to not have the ph levels being interfered with.

Here are Some Sexy and Practical Uses of Silicone Lube:

Sexy Uses:

Be smooth! Instead of shaving cream, try a layer of silicone lube. It’ll help your razor glide smoothly and cut the hairs closer. It can also minimize razor burn and those red bumps.

If you have any latex clothing, it may have come with a bottle of silicone lube to keep it polished. (although there are less sticky options that create great shine out there!)

Shine your shoes! Works well to add a water-repellant coat to your boots and what have you.

Sexy massage!

Slippery wrestling matches.

Masturbation, Penile/Vaginal and anal sex and fisting! Lasts for a long time so good for all forms of pleasure. Great for anal sex. Especially great for anal sex because the anus does not create it’s own lubricant. You can also mix a bit of water based lube with it to create more viscosity.

Non Sexy uses:

Cut down on static cling and chaffing with silicone lube.

Since silicone lube doesn’t get washed away easily by water, you could use it to slick yourself up before a swim meet. It’ll help cut any drag when you’re in the water. It can also work on boats and water skis, too.

Use silicone lube to seal a wood. If your wood has a finish, or you’re planning to add a finish, don’t use silicone lube. It can turn your finish into a sticky, mess.

The same ingredients found in silicone lube can often be found in hair products. Use silicone lube to smooth out your skin or your fly-aways.

Is that squeaky door bugging you? Drip some silicone lube on the hinges and forget about it.

Clean Up of Silicone Lube:

A nasty business, the clean up of silicone lube. That is why many people resist using it. There is not a lot of research out there, mostly in the textile industry, but between that research and 13 years of rampant usage, here is what I found:

Isopropyl alcohol will remove it readily from wooden floors, countertops etc. Spray, wipe with paper towels, then go over again with cleanser like 409 or Simple Green. Bedding can be challenging – if you put down under pads or old towels and still get it on your bed, try spraying it down with the isopropyl alcohol before using a pre-spotter like Oxy Clean or Shout. The accuracy depends on the amount of lube, what other fluids may have stained the bed, and how long it sat before washing. The effectiveness of silicone lube cleaning is really about getting to it with the right product in a timely fashion.

Like other lube, silicone lube comes in a huge variety of options, including silicone lubricants with warming or tingling mechanisms added, or with scents. They don’t generally come flavored because silicone based lubricants are inedible. Although they won’t harm your body, they are inert substances and won’t be digested. They also tend to be more expensive than water or oil based lube simply because their main ingredient is much more expensive to obtain than water or natural oil. Like most lube, silicone lubricants come in a variety of sizes, ranging from trial packets to thousand milliliter pump bottles, ensuring that there is an option within your price range.

You can find a variety of silicone lubes at your neighborhood sex shop or online. Good Vibrations is awesome! My favorite silicone lube is called “Gun Oil” – how could you not love that?

Addendum:

Ingredients to top selling silicone based lubricants:

Uberlube

Dimethicone, dimethiconol, cyclomethicone, and tocopheryl acetate.

Gun Oil

Dimethicone, Vitamin E, Aloe Vera, Demethiconol, Cyclomethicone

Pjur

Cyclopentasiloxane, dimethicone, dimethiconol

Wet Platinum Lubricant

Dimethicone, Hexamethyl Disiloxane, Docosamethyl decasiloxane, Tocopheryl Acetate

Resources:

Basic info on silicone lube.

Basic description of silicone lube.

Review of silicone lubes in general.

Cleaning of silicone lube products, (primarily non “personal”, but very useful)

Contraception and lube.

Silicone lube and rubber.

Personal Lubricants and conception.

Safety with condoms.

Effect of water-based and silicon-based lubricant on sexual pleasure of women

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Fairy Tales Can Come True! by Eve Minax

May 8, 2014 By Admin Bondassage

Imagine you have a secret, a secret of a sexual nature….it might not be a “big” secret. Perhaps you share it with a few close friends, maybe you’ve even facebooked or tweeted about it, or simply alluded to it in your posts. Maybe you have only shared it with your partner, who, quite frankly doesn’t want to hear about it any more, if they ever did. Maybe you keep the secret to yourself, but you fantasize about it and any chance you get you look for it, on the web, or live.

What might that secret be?
What might it look like?

Maybe you’re a cis gender male, meaning, you were born with male chromosomes, and you identify as a male. However, you also really love stockings and high heels. They make you feel sexy. Sometimes you even visualize yourself as a woman being penetrated while you masturbate.

Maybe you’re a cis gendered woman who fantasizes about being bound, gagged, and whipped into sexual submission.

Perhaps gender is not part of the equation at all. You have needs. You just really see yourself in a consensual, loving, supportive power exchange relationship with another person as your dominant under their direction and care. Or vice versa, you fantasize about being directive and taking control lovingly.

In reality, you are a human being, with sexual urges and desires that oftentimes get frustrated, ignored or ridiculed.

What are you going to do?

Who are you going to discuss your desires with and how will you go about doing it?

These are the kinds of queries I address as a “Dominatrix” or professional dominant, Sexuality Educator, and as a lifestyle kinkster.

Let me tell you about a former client, now dear friend of mine, Joe.

Joe came to me about 14 years ago as an overworked guy who ran his own tech business and was in constant stress mode. His marriage was “good” but his wife who was initially kinky in their sex life had become quite uninterested in sex, kinky or not – unfortunately, like many people I’ve spoken to over the years. So, he came to me for what we call Tie and Tease.

After our first meeting it was clear that Joe was missing a major part of his life – to be able to explore his sexuality without judgment in a safe environment.

When we would meet, he would turn off his cell phone and start to relax. He would be engulfed in an hour or more of bliss, not worried about anything at all, allowed to relish his fantasy world. I would restrain him with rope or leather cuffs and arouse him sexually through sensory play, seduction, and light cross-dressing. He was able to ask questions and explore different sensations and feelings. We would discuss the results and how he might incorporate some of his desires into his home life. He would depart much lighter and happier than when he arrived.

Joe also watched more porn than he wanted to. Well, more than his wife wanted him to. Joe would’ve been happier to have the activity with his partner, but that wasn’t going to happen. I continued to work with him over the years, discussing his relationship with his wife, and the possibilities around bringing her in to discuss and explore, always encouraging the long term relationship.

Then, in 2008, I moved from Chicago to San Francisco. Joe saw me out here a few times. He started doing some tech work for me, becoming my “webslave” long distance. Between his wife and he growing further apart and me not being there to help balance things, he was a mess. A nasty divorce ensued and Joe was understandably heartbroken. But you know what? He continued to do the work. He continued to seek out his desires and to learn all he could from me and other educators and practitioners.

Joe eventually met and fell in love with a former student of mine and a practicing dominant. It has been about 3 years since they have been living together and they own two large and beautiful kink establishments in their relationship based on honesty, trust, and active sex! Joe always says if it weren’t for me, he would not have found happiness in this lifetime. He is eternally grateful. I am not sure how accurate that is, or how much credit I need to take around it, but I do know this, without information and validation around sex, people in general are bound to be less happy. At 52 and for the first time in his life he is very comfortable in who he is and his sexuality.

Like Thoreau says, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation.” Repressed sexuality is not simply for men, it is part of everyone’s life. I look forward to the day when we no longer live with such desperation, rather, more fulfilling lives in intimacy and trust.

Let’s make fairy tales come true!

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