The setting for your erotic massage for your lover is going to be instrumental in helping your partner relax and enjoy themselves. We have some tips to make your space very sexy and relaxing, and we have some insider techniques that will drive them wild.
- A clean, quiet space in your home or hotel room with a comfortable (warm) room temperature and very relaxing lighting is key. (Go easy on the candles, fragrances, incense, and other things that can cause irritation or headaches.) Clear a large space on your bed or massage table and make sure you have it all prepped so when they walk in the room, they can switch their brain off and realize you have set up this lovely and sexy “gift” for them.
- Edible or organic massage oil that you know you both love will make things very tactile and lustful. This massage is going to be very slow and intentional. A long lasting massage oil like organic virgin coconut oil is a fabulous option. And, if you have lots of time to prepare, warm up the oil a bit under the warm water faucet. They will appreciate the attention to detail.
- Blindfolds make all the difference. (You can even treat them by having them wear earbuds or headphones, too.) The “mindfold blindfold” is a favorite of ours. It completely blocks out light, even with eyes open, and won’t smudge eye makeup. Excellent for play, sleep, and travel! While they are blindfolded, you can also experiment with using your breath on their erogenous zones along with your hands.
- Tease out your erotic massage! This massage is going to highlight the genitals and erogenous zones, but try to tease them. Get super duper close to them, but try to stay away from the “hot” zones as long as you can to make your lover’s climax especially deep and satisfying. You are basically going to try and “edge” them to get them very close to the orgasm than back them off from it once or twice (or dozens of times!).
- End the massage with your body on their body. Your massage will most likely start at or near their head and shoulders; you can wind a path down to their toes with your hands. To really amp up the intensity and hedonistic aspect of this sensual massage, make sure your lover has a nice coating of oil all over their body. Now, put your skin on their skin and you can slide around on their body so they feel all of your body parts all over their body while they are still wearing the blindfold. I sometimes call it the “adult slip and slide” technique. It also brings your mouths near each other which gives you the ability for some deep kissing, exploring, and teasing with your tongues. (We all know that married people and people in long term relationships sometimes forget to make out!)
BONUS : Bring a nice and quiet cordless vibrator, a piece of fur, some cool links of chain for some texture and tease play into your massage.
Want to learn even more techniques? If you are both agreeable and you want to try something new, start off with our $97 Art of Bondassage – our online course you can purchase here. Learn in the privacy of your own bedroom.
Or if you are ready for a little more adventure, you can also check out our The Advanced Art of Bondassage for $395 – this is our advanced online course and it includes the $97 Art of Bondassage we mentioned above. (You can even buy it in three payments.) Buy the Advanced Art of Bondassage here.
If your sex life needs some serious Sex C.P.R. – we also offer sex coaching. If the two of you have tried everything and you just cannot seem to get anywhere with improving our sex life, then you might want to consider coming to Northern California to the Santa Cruz area where we can do some sex coaching together.
My coaching is a very personal decision by you both. To make sure we are all on the same page, begin with an email to me and we can discuss if we are good fit for one another. It’s an investment I do not take lightly, so having a discussion first is a great way to make sure that we are a good match. Feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to start off this conversation. Be sure to read our blog “Can Kinky Sex Save My Sex Life” and get to know more about my in-person kinky coaching and more about me.