Could your need for feeling in control be holding you back from an intense, connected, and satisfying sex life? Do you want to talk with your lover about adding some B.D.S.M. fun to your sex life? Are you ready to let go, be in the moment, and try adding in some kink into your love life?
Did you know, when exchanging power in your bedroom, that the person who is playing the submissive role has much as much power (or possibly more) as the person who is playing the dominant role? And, did you know that the partner who is playing the dominant role also needs to consider how they are going to nurture their “submissive” and plan for some after-care? All of these things are negotiated beforehand. (Check out our blog “We Want to Be Kinky, How Do We Do That.”)
Are you worried about asking your partner to dominate you? Do you think it will be embarrassing to let your lover know your desire to “play” as a submissive? I imagine if you are in a healthy relationship, your partner will be turned on by your open communication.
Are you too shy to BEG for it? Push yourself. Try it. See how your love responds. Leave all of your “to-do lists” somewhere else and beg for some hot sex or a sexy spanking. Forget that you are parents; forget that you have laundry that needs to be put away. Let go of those other identities and get into the headspace of being the Domme or the submissive in the bedroom.
“This emotional and psychological result is called a “subspace,” and is brought on by an influx of adrenaline and endorphins. Just like an orgasm, a subspace is difficult to explain as it differs person by person, particularly because of the varying emotions, responses, and reactions involved. A common misconception of BDSM scenes is that they only involve physical pain — such as floggers, whips, ropes, and other tangible objects. For those within a BDSM scene, subspace is an attainable goal that includes a trance-like euphoria of overtly intense emotions.”
Do You Crave Giving Up Control and Getting Into that Subspace?
According to a survey done by Durex (the condom people) in 2005 showed that 36% of U.S.couples are in a kinky relationship. (Compared to 20% of couples worldwide.) That survey was done before the book “50 Shades of Grey” became a social phenomenon. The new research shows that it’s more likely that about 85% of people having kinky sex lives. What are you waiting for?
Not sure how to surrender to your lover? We have 19 Kinky Tips For You:
- Have a discussion with your lover and let them know what you are thinking. If you are intimate enough to have sex, you should be intimate enough to share your fantasies.
- Get ENTHUSIASTIC consent for anything new and kinky. Consent is everything.
- Read some kinky erotica together.
- Grab your iPad or your laptop and browse some kinky sex toys and sex furniture online.
- Look for some blogs online that are focused on kinky couples and BDSM.
- Head to a local sex toy store together. (Or, when you are on vacation, check out the local sex toy stores in each city you visit.)
- Discuss your limits and boundaries with your lover. Communication is lubrication.
- Get a collar to wear when you are feeling in the mood to play submissive. When you put it on, you will signal to your lover and to your own brain that it’s time to get into that headspace.
- Buy some lingerie or gear that puts you in that kinky mood.
- Sign-up for a BDSM meetup or munch and meet other kinky people. Learn new kinky ideas from them.
- Become active members of your local kink community.
- Create a profile on FetLife you can both access. Scroll through all of the types of kinks that exist. There are thousands!
- Make a bucket list of all of the kinky ideas/themes you two come up with.
- Take turns restraining each other to see which role you prefer. Do you prefer being in control or giving up control?
- Experiment with some temperature play by drinking some hot tea or some hot chocolate. Then drink a cold glass of ice water and experiment with your cold tongue or hands.
- Take some naughty pics with our cell phone when you are home alone and send to your partner to give them some ideas you have in mind. Build up the anticipation.
- Invest in some noise canceling headphones for your playroom and play time.
- Ask your partner to spank you or paddle you and see if you like it. Switch it up and spank or paddle your partner and see if you prefer receiving or giving.
- Remember your aftercare commitment.
Sexy and Kinky Tips Online
We have so many more tips we are excited to share with you via our video course.
If you are married and are empty-nesters and are ready to reclaim your sex life now that the kids are all moved out you will love our Art of Bondassage course. Or, maybe you have been through an illness or menopause and your sex life can use some C.P.R. It happens in all relationships and there is no shame in asking your partner to help you with improving your sex life.
Do you want to stay together for a lot more years? Do you want to stay married, but need some professional help? A fabulous sensual massage can be orgasmic and when you both learn our techniques in our course, it will bring you both bliss. Think of it as an investment in your orgasms and well being.
We Would Love To Teach You How To Be Kinky
When you buy our course, you will learn to take turns being in the power position. If you are normally a more dominant lover, learn how to let go of the control to your lover and enjoy receiving a sensual massage. Learn more about impact play and edging. Let us teach you some techniques for nipple play that will bring you to the brink.
Whether you’re a novice or an experienced player, we’re delighted to be your guide on a journey of submission, exploration, and pleasure.
If you feel like our $97 course may be a little slow for you, we do also have an Advanced Bondassage Course for $395 . You can even pay for our $395 Advance Bondassage Course in 3 payments, too. Be sure to sign up for our HOT SEX TIPS newsletter here so we can keep your sex life smoking hot. (Read our blog about our Couples Kink Coaching here.)
Kinky Tips & Techniques For Couples Learning To Be Kinky
If you have married or in a long term relationship and want to keep your sex life healthy in marriage, we do offer private coaching. Our private coaching is in person and working with Jaeleen gives you the confidence and freedom to explore new techniques, new erogenous zones, and delicious new areas of sensory pleasure.
Our founder, Jaeleen, offers private coaching. “I’m a sensual domina, professional bodyworker, and the creator of Bondassage® and Elysium by Bondassage®. I’ve had the honor of introducing people around the world to the fascinating world of kink. Introducing couples to the art of Bondassage has increased their passion, deepened their connection, and spiced up their intimate playtime. I’d love to help you too!”
More about Jaeleen: I am a Certified Massage Therapist, Professional Domina, Reiki Master, Urban Tantrika, and Sensual Shaman with more than 25 years of experience. I have extensive training in several healing modalities, including Amma, Swedish, acupressure, shiatsu, deep tissue, sports massage, Reiki, rebirthing, polarity, trigger, and active release, Thai, Tantra, and Taoist Massage, Shamanic journeying, aromatherapy, and esoteric energy healing.
Email Jaeleen at jaeleen@ bondassage.com to introduce yourself to her and that will get your conversation going.
Has your sex life hit a roadblock? Or maybe it’s worse; maybe you are in a sexless marriage or sexless long term relationship. Life gets in the way of hot sex a lot, doesn’t it?
Sex with your partner can give you bonding time, loads of oxytocin and that very important pillow talk where couples share hopes, dreams, and touch base with each other. If you have kids or roommates, it may be the only time you two have any private time. We all know that it is practically impossible to keep a marriage together without intimacy of some kind. If one or both partners are not getting any affection, intimacy, or sex – it creates resentment. And resentment NEVER leads to hot sex.
Have you tried everything to save your relationship?
Have you read every book in the self-help section of your local bookstore? Do you constantly clip articles from magazines looking for ways to spice up your sex life? Have you ever considered hiring a sex coach?
Perhaps you have a whole bunch of secret fantasies and kinks you want to share with your lover, but you’re nervous. Many women tell us how anxious they are to tell their husband that they want to be spanked or have their hair pulled. (Can you be a feminist and desire to be submissive in your bedroom? YES!)
We hear from men who tell us that they are skittish about telling their wives that they want to play “submissive” once in a while. We hear from others who have fetishes that they have been holding inside and have never told another soul for 25 years or more! That is no way to live.
Maybe reading “50 Shades of Grey” woke you up and you decided it was time to bring this kind of intensity and sensuality into your sex life. Power exchange can be highly erotic, and learning to negotiate kinky sex will make you two amazing communicators. Kinky sex requires a fair bit of negotiation and your preferences can change over time. Kink teaches you how to communicate your fantasies and those changes in preference.
We want to teach you tactics for being able to have these discussions. We will also teach you how to do all kinds of kinky, naughty, and sexy techniques to SPARK JOY in your sex life now! Give yourself and your partner permission to discover new and exciting erotic delights. Ignite a deeper, more fulfilling intimacy and connection. Free the parts of yourself that have been hidden from each other for far too long.
If this sounds like you and your sweetie, you should consider hiring a sex coach. Jaeleen is the founder of Bondassage® and author of “Bondassage: Kinky Erotic Massage Tips for Lovers.” Jaeleen has been doing couples sex coaching for years in the Bay Area.
COUPLES KINK COACHING LINK AND COSTS
Through her private coaching, you will increase connection, desire, intimacy, sexual satisfaction, and learn each other’s kinks. She states:
“I’ll help you explore techniques you’ve always wanted to try and introduce you to some you may have never even imagined. Working together we’ll explore what kinds of experiences you and your partner might enjoy. They’ll be delighted not only with your new skills but also that you cared enough to acquire them. We will create a safe space for all three of us to discuss sex and kink openly.”
Private Bondassage for Couples coaching is a safe, playful, creative way to stretch your intimate boundaries and expand your erotic repertoire. It’s a lovely way to rekindle the passion and desire in your relationship. You’ll become more sensitive and adventurous with each other as you reach new levels of intimacy and sensuality.
Be sure to read some of Jaeleen’s private client testimonials. (And, btw, the two of you can train with her in her space in the Santa Cruz area or, if you prefer, you can fly her to your city and do the training there.)
Since this coaching is so personal and unique, we want to share some of her client’s testimonials about what it was like receiving the kinky sex coaching with Jaeleen.
Jaeleen’s Sex Coaching Testimonials:
“Jaeleen, you have opened up a new world of possibilities for our sex life. We have been married almost 26 years now. It has helped us fall in love with each other all over. We learned how to have fun again in the bedroom.”– T & P, London
“It was an amazing experience and a fantastic investment in our relationship. I feel empowered and my erotic identity recognized and accepted. ” ~ Lawrence and Celia, New York
“My wife was so painfully shy and raised in a very religious home and I was very frustrated with her lack of confidence to try new things when it came to our sex life. It took every ounce of my sales skills to convince my wife that working with someone like Jaeleen might be able to help us stay married for another 30 years. It was an amazing investment and Jaeleen was able to put her at ease quickly. My wife is still more on the shy side of life, but our sex life is now playful, naughty, sometimes even kinky and so much more fulfilling for both of us.” K & T, Utah
“My husband and I came in as complete novices, and we were put at ease immediately. Jaeleen explained and demonstrated the endless possibilities … we can’t wait for our next lesson!” ~ Albert and Colette, Los Gatos
“Jaeleen provided a wonderfully unique and priceless opportunity to learn and share new and profound pleasures with each other. We knew it would be good, but we had no idea how good it could be. We fell madly in love with each other all over again!” ~ Tom and Stacey, San Francisco
“Our 19-year marriage had turned sexless after about 15 years. The first 10 years of our marriage, we had a fabulous but very vanilla sex life. It took me another 9 years to figure out that my husband had a flogging and spanking fetish and I had NO idea how to help him with that. We found Jaeleen and her coaching and it completely turned our sex life and our relationship around in a weekend!” Carmen and Larry, Las Vegas
13 Sexy Techniques Couples Sex Coaching Will Teach You:
- Reading your partner’s body
- Taking your partner deeper with sensory deprivation tools
- Help your partner let go and surrender with innovative erotic bondage
- Exceptional erotic massage techniques
- Beginning to advanced anal play (wonderfully naughty)
- Expanded sensation play techniques
- Delightful nipple play (his and hers)
- Tantalizing to intense genital play (less can definitely be more)
- Sensual body percussion ~ spanking/flogging/paddling/caning/cropping
- Edge” play techniques for both partners
- Loving, nurturing, and deepening connection
- Access to our private Couples Resource area (including relaxing, sensual music and a curated shopping list)
- Ninety-minute follow up call via phone or Skype …. And so much more!
To get started with this kinky sex coaching, it all starts with an email to email@example.com
From the email, we can have a phone or Skype conversation to make sure this is a good fit for the two of you. You can invest in a half day of sexy skills building, a one-day exploration or two-day immersion in Santa Cruz, CA. (There are travel fees if you want to do this in your city.)
Investment for kink coaching for couples:
Half-day skills building ~ 3000
One-day exploration – 5000
Two-day immersion – 8000
If you would like to start off by checking out our ONLINE COURSES, we have two for you. The first one is $97 and the second is $395.
The Advanced Art of Bondassage can be paid in 3 payments of $135.
The Art of Bondassage is only $97. (And our billing is very discreet.)
You can also check out our blog 7 Tips for Giving Your Partner the Hottest Massage Ever
Sign up for our newsletter with HOT SEX TIPS to get on our mailing list.